Friday, January 28, 2011

Screw You, January!

You got me again, January.

Sometimes it's your buddy February.  But this year, it's you.

You take my Christmas spirit and stomp on it.  You won't allow my joy of the holiday's ride through the winter.

Like making wine, you stomp on my fruit.  Stomp on my core.

I know others get these "January Blues" but mine seems to have hit me like the hardest smack in the face.  I was doing so well.  Happy, looking toward the future.  Then last night it all came crashing down.  This morning wasn't much better.

In fact, it sucked.

One of the worst mornings in a long long time.  Since my medicated days, I haven't felt like this.  Yes.  I am medicated.

I am not ashamed.  I need it.  I used to get the January blues all the time.  For no reason.  It just happened.

I've been taking Zoloft for almost a year and it has helped me immensely.  My family will agree. I should look back on my posts pre-medication and see if I notice a change.

However, today and last night were horrible.  My kids don't listen to me.  I speak to them in serious tone and want them to listen, and they laugh.  Laughing in my face when I am scolding.

It makes me boil over.  I even used the S word this morning.

I know I need to change.  I hope that this is just a tiny little F-You from January, just to test me.  To see how I can bounce back.

I will bounce back.

As soon as I finish my glass of wine.

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