My Wife HAS to Use the Bathroom

Ah...long night.

I had an amazing time in Chicago. I met some new co-workers, finished a proposal, and visited both of our company offices. After a very filling meal at the owners new home (Thanks, Jeff), he and Meredith dropped me off at the airport. I was right on time and had 10 minutes to catch the sixth (I think) inning of the Cubs game before we boarded. Standing in line, casing the passengers, I caught the dreary mother with two young girls, a stroller, a car seat, and two bags. One part of me thinks, 'wow, I am impressed, I don't think I could do that' and the other is, "oh, please don't sit near me and cry". As the first group was boarding, the little 5 year old says, "I have to pee". The dread and frustration on the mother's face was imeasurable. They had come from Portland, OR and been traveling since 8 am. It was now 8:30 pm. I took her bag and car seat and waited for them to get done in the bathroom. Then I carried the carseat and one bag down the very narrow aisle into the very last row. It amazed me all the men that commented on "oh, that's a big carseat" or "wow, Britax, those are expensive" and those that didn't need to say anything with their mouths, but their eyes read "don't you hit me with that huge carseat as I am so comfortably leaning into the aisle in my fancy shirt". Why diss the helper OR the mother of two traveling alone?? And I can only imagine what the mom was thinking after more then 12 hours of this.

I sat a couple rows from the back of the plane, we began taxing and I got settled in for a quick flight home.

And then, it happened. Some dufus (can I say that in a blog?) instructed (yes, instructed) his wife to get up and go to the bathroom as we were ON the runway waiting for our chance to take off. After the flight attendant sent the wife back to sit down and fasten her seatbelt, Dufus began. He rudely waved his hands for the flight attendant (large bald man) to come over. He then proceeded to cuss and demand that his wife has to use the bathroom because "she has to pee really bad". OH, well if she has to go REALLY bad. Dufus settled down, but not really and his wife was belittled, not for the first time, I am sure. Oh, and Dufus was right next to me across the aisle.

We begin moving again, only to stop again. All the cabin lights come on, the flight attendant moves to the front of the plane, looking out the door and welcomes in the Chicago Police. Walked down to us, asked Dufus to leave, Wife wanted to leave, Dufus instructed her to stay and he left. No commotion, no surprise, no nothing. Peacefully walked off the plane.

Wife then went to pee, but only after the recommendation came from the flight attendant. Wonder if she can do anything on her own. That makes me really sad.

I was asked to be number one witness. Maybe I'll get a free flight out of it.

Oh, also, Dufus made us wasted so much gas that we needed to refuel but couldn't because the thunderstorm that we almost missed came in and they can't fill gas in thunderstorms. So we sat on the runway for another hour.

The getting home was late, but I learned a couple things:
1. It's nice to help out a mom.
2. Always pee before you get on the plane.
3. Don't be a Dufus.