Let's Talk Lunch

I'm in a mood that isn't conducive to writing anything meaningful.  It's been a rough week.

I tried a little experiment with Big Boy this past week.

I've been an advocate of the gluten free diet.  I agree that artificial food dyes cause hyperactivity and aggression in children.  Not to be a hypocrite, I put Big Boy on a gluten free diet this week, in addition to his no artificial food dyes (which has been working for over a year).

I knew it had to be more fun.  I couldn't expect him to be okay without his really good bread and all the same accouterments.  So, I took a page from the traditional Bento Box lunch and found a divided container with a freezer pack lid.

Packing these lunches are much more fun for me, than the traditional "throw stuff in a baggie" lunch bag.  I saved four snack sized baggies that I normally would have used in this lunch.  Also eliminated the packaging on the Luna Protein Bar and the Baby Bell Light Cheese.

And the results?  He loved the presentation.  Liked most of the foods.  Everything but the bread.

That's how it is with gluten free.  Everything but the bread.  Now, I will contend that the bread used in his lunches was pretty good, it's not gluten bread.  There isn't a match for pre-made gluten free bread as of this day.  They are close, but not quite.  For me, I don't care.  I like my rolls and I always warm them, so I don't have an issue with cold, hard, stiff bread.

And most importantly...did removing the gluten benefit Big Boy's demeanor?

No.  Not at all.

In fact, this has been a pretty horrible week.  Anger, defiance, talking back, repetitions.  It's been a rough one.

So, tomorrow, it's back to real bread for the boy.  Maybe he'll cheer up.

The Secret Society

I have a son with ADHD.

I have another son with Epilepsy.

The ADHD was diagnosed in the summer of 2010.

The Epilepsy was diagnosed in the summer of 2012.

Why do I feel more knowledgeable with epilepsy than I do with the ADHD?

It isn't for lack of reading and experimenting and testing.  I've done it all.  The last Psychologist said, "Well, I don't really think we can do anything for [Big Boy], you are already implementing everything I would suggest."

Why is it that when I talk to anyone (other than a close friend) about ADHD and the fact that my son HAS it, do they lower their voice?  It happened the other day at the school.  I was talking to a school employee and she lowered her voice so that the other person couldn't hear.  It wasn't so that we wouldn't disturb anyone.  (I don't question this employees whispering, I happen to think she will be the key to Big Boy's success.)  Why whisper?  Are we as society ashamed of ADHD?

It really hit me that day.  ADHD is a Secret Society.  As a mom, I've felt alone.  Abandoned.  Fighting our own family battle to get some help for our son.  No parent has ever come up to me and said, "Hey, you look like you may be struggling with [Big Boy], I want you to know my son, daughter, nephew, neighbor, etc. has ADHD and it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Many years ago I went to an Adult Education class on finding your Spiritual Angels.  I know, corny, but I've always felt connected to the spiritual world and I was grasping at straws for answers and guidance, so tried everything.  While immersed in meditation in this class, I began to cry.  I had connected with 'something/someone' and I could hear myself feeling guilty for the ADHD diagnosis.  That was the first bombshell.  I actually felt responsible.  The classmates helped me understand that it is nothing to feel guilty about.  Feeling guilty adds a great unnecessary burden.  A burden that sticks in the mud and doesn't bring anything positive to the situation.

And the second bombshell is the whispering.  Why must we whisper?

ADHD is a is a neurobehavioral disorder. Guess what?  Epilepsy is a chronic neurological disorder.  So why does saying "my kid has epilepsy" vs. "my kid has ADHD" garner totally different responses?  Granted, ADHD doesn't involve seizures, but both have a medication, both are neurological, and both affect learning.

ADHD isn't a nasty cold sore you try to cover up.  It isn't an excuse to defend my poor parenting skills.  It needs to be nurtured and cared for by not only the parents, but teachers and friends, too.  How can others even begin to understand the needs of my son if no one knows he has this disorder? 

I used to be worried about the ADHD label.  I think the stigma of labeling of kids has decreased as the frequency of kids that need extra help has increased.  Was I worried or ashamed of the label?

Screw the label.  Label away.

My kid needs help and I'm not going to whisper anymore.