My son has ADHD.
I have never said that out loud (in type) here on my blog. I feel like I have been hiding a secret from you all.
I already hide chocolate from my family, I can't handle another secret.
All our friends are aware. Some neighbors, teachers, people that need to know, know.
And now you all know. I need to share my frustrations so that other parents can feel comfort in not being alone. I have felt alone, ashamed, for too long.
ADHD is to Learning Disabilities as crochet is to knitting. It's like the ugly stepsister that really isn't a sister. Many people think of ADHD as an excuse for poorly behaved children to act out. It is not. It is real. It is a disability. And my son, has ADHD. This is my favorite post from a mother with a son that also has ADHD.
Since he was young, we could all see that this boy had a head full of information. He was so inquisitive. He would take a full minute before he answered a question because he was "thinking" about the answer. As he began pre-school, he was constantly in trouble. I'll never forget the feeling of walking into that room with all the other parents and seeing every child on green, and Sam on red. It does numbers on a mother to see that every single day. If you are an educator, it does no good whatsoever to show all the children and parents which children are good and which ones are not.
When Sam was three and four, he could name every state in the country. We could even hold it backwards and he would know it. Recently, he learned the entire alphabet in hieroglyphics. Monday, he had a hard time doing simple math (more on that later).
Our parent teacher conferences are always the same...'So smart, but just doesn't listen. Marches to the beat of his own drum." Sam's Kindergarten teacher was the first educator to see the potential in Sam. First grade was rough, I couldn't wait for that year to end. Second grade was better, a male teacher. Sam seemed to enjoy school much more than years prior, but forgotten and incomplete homework was never an issue with the teacher, he didn't really care or mark Sam for not doing it. This year...another male teacher. This one seasoned, near retirement, a runner, with grandson's Sam's age. I think he gets it. I can see the changes in Sam.
Sam and his brother have also met some neighborhood boys. That has built confidence in him like no other event so far. Yes, we still have meltdowns, like yesterday, but those I can handle.
I started writing this post on Monday of this week. I was going to tell you all how great things are going. How Sam is doing his homework, playing with friends, respecting me. Then, Tuesday Math happened.
Screaming. Slamming. Scary.
Some days, it sucks. Sucks real bad. It is miserable. ADHD sucks. He feels like he needs constant help, yet gets angry when trying to explain something. I think he ran to his room for a self-imposed time out 4 times. And it was only one page of math homework.
I guess what I really want to say is that ADHD is real. If you know of a child that has it, smile at the parent. Give them a pat on the back. It is hard work. It's such an unpredictable disability and the ebbs and flows are so distinct, that it's sometimes hard to remember the highs.
And sometimes hard to forget the lows.